Actually, I’m Not Enough.

I’ve learned that self-confidence has much to do with taking self out of the equation entirely in order to implement the kind of confidence that can only come from Christ.

The less we focus on self, and the more we focus on God & people the better we are at living out the life God has called us to live. Because life is not always about us, and because there is more to life than us. A hard truth to swallow- I know. I’m swallowing it, too. But if you can’t get through that one then might as well stop reading before you get any further.

I keep asking myself, “How could one feel whole in a world that’s placed a hole in them?”

Society has coddled us to believe that we’re okay just as we are, it has provided a hypothetical grace-movement, and to make us feel even better about ourselves they fool us into believing that our faults and failures are just a part of who we are. I mean, that’s how God made us. It sounds super good, and I wish I could believe it. But what about in the Bible where it says that God made us in His image? He did not create us to live in sin. “But what about the sin that has wrecked our lives ever since everything in the Garden took place?”, you may ask. God made us in His perfect image, and sin did separate us from that, but that doesn’t provide an excuse for us to live in sin. 

And although God made a way for us to be forgiven and loved and whole; He did not do it because He tolerates our sinful condition. He did it because He loves us. And when people ask me what I think about love that’s the kind of Love I want to tell them of. The kind of Love that while loving us at our lowest, continues to lead us towards a higher calling.

God went to the cross and died for us, and then goes on to tell us to deny ourselves and pick up our cross to follow Him. And that’s why I can’t bring myself to believe in so many instagrammers captions and blogs that I read. It’s not because I don’t love the people behind them. I cheer many of them on, and I love that they have a desire to live for Jesus. I really do. But what I can’t do is bring myself to believe a message that contradicts God’s Word. And anything that makes me feel good about myself in order for me to  remain comfortable with where I’m at in my christianity is not something I desire- Because I’ve learned that living a life that honors Christ is not about being comfortable. 

God did not create us to live in sin, but because of sin and everything that took place so many years ago we do have the temptation to sin, and we always will. That’s where grace comes in, but grace does not equate to living a comfortable life; it leads us to living an uncomfortable one.

I cannot bring myself to agree with the status quo that invites us to settle for living a life that does not honor Christ. And I refuse to use it as an excuse to do so myself, because although I fail so many times and I’m so very far from where I should be in my walk with Jesus I still desire to live a life that brings glory to His name and not my own. 

The longer I live for Him the more I realize that to be whole I have to spend time with the Holy One- which goes beyond the surface level of any instagram post or caption.

A real relationship with Jesus cannot be surface level; it has to be intimate and real in order for it to make a difference in your life. 

And I know too many of us believe we are enough just as we are, but I want to go ahead and contradict that false illusion that is given to so many people in society today. We are far from  enough, and if we were enough on our own there would be no place for Jesus in our lives. I think that’s what has messed so many of us up- sin has a way of doing that. It puffs us up and makes God small in our eyes when it should be the other way around. I don’t know about you, but my heartbeat is to live every second of my life for the One who gave me Life eternal. 

If you’ve gotten this far, then thanks for swallowing some hard truths with me today. God has been moving in my heart a lot over the past few weeks, and I’ve spent much of my time reflecting over this past year. I have so many regrets, and all of them lead back to the moments where I thought I was enough on my own. It breaks me to think that though God has been so good in so many ways I have failed to be my best for Him. So much of it points back to what society is feeding our minds and influencing our actions to live a life that says “I’m enough just as I am.” It does not allow us any room for growth. And if you’ve read this far, then this might be another hard truth to swallow: You’re not enough. And neither am I. 

I’ve grown so weary of seeing modern christianity being lived out the way it has been- because anytime we live a life less than what God has called us to live should break us to the point where we would be willing to give up anything for His name’s sake. He has called us to live pure and holy lives, and if that contradicts everything society has told us to believe then that’s okay. Because I’d rather live an uncomfortable life that has no place for settling and conforming to the ways of this world than to live a life that allows me to be comfortable in what society has told me to be true. And I hope that you would, too. 

Love and blessings, 

             Moriah grace 


2 thoughts on “Actually, I’m Not Enough.”

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